


She said I don’t look like me no more

by Supergirlwannabe



Series: Garden Gates [1]
Category: Wynonna Earp - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-09 16:17:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20997707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supergirlwannabe/pseuds/Supergirlwannabe
Summary: Nicole working through her trauma. Wynonna and Waverly navigating Nicole’s new personality.This is set after Waverly comes back from the garden





	1. My spirit doesn’t move like it did before

“It was only a dream Haught, pull yourself together” she whispered to herself “In out, in out”, her chest rising and falling in time with her words. Nicole’s breathing started to even as she sat up on the couch. Drenched in sweat, heart thundering in her chest. Nicole's mind wandered. All the things that had led her here.Most days started off this way as of late. Sneaking out of bed after Waverly is asleep to sit on the couch and listen to her minds foot traffic. Her thoughts louder than ever in the quiet of her home. Over-contemplating everything until exhaustion consumes her. She had mastered the art of sneaking back in before Waverly even knew she had left.

.

Nicole stood up, walked upstairs and saw her girlfriend, err fiancé, was still fast asleep. Daylight began to filter through thin curtains. Nicole figured she better hurry, making her way to the bathroom as she peeled off every piece of clothing as quickly as possible until she stood bare. She tried to avoid looking at herself as always. Scars, cuts, scrapes, bruises. Memories in each one, memories Nicole was tired of reliving. She turned on the water, hot as it would go until the mirror started to fog up. She stepped in and felt the water run over her taut muscles. A sensation that used to bring relief to the redhead, now only reminds her that as soon as she steps out, she’ll have to face herself again. She brushed the thought off and finished her shower. She got dressed, grabbed her duffel bag, and headed out the door.

Waverly awoke to the sound of the front door slamming shut. She reached over to feel for Nicole, only to find it cold, and empty. “Again?” She huffed to herself, knowing that Nicole had left without waking her up, that this would be the third week in a row. The third week that Nicole hasn’t fixed breakfast, hasn’t looked her in the eye, hasn’t been Nicole. Waverly pretended not to notice the first few nights Nicole got up and went downstairs. 

As time went on She tried confronting Nicole once she started leaving her pillow and blankets draped over the couch. Nicole would avoid her attempts and just make excuses and get upset. Eventually, Waverly dropped it altogether to avoid making things worse.She took a deep breath and rolled out of bed preparing herself for what she knew would be another long day. 

*********

Nicole was in her new office, hunched over her desk, sorting through piles of paperwork. Unfinished Incident reports, tickets from the 90s, receipts from takeout from the Chinese place just out of town, sticky notes scattered about. Nedley was many things, but organized wasn’t one of them. She was knee-deep in a riveting breaking-and-entering case with a written confession when it came over the radio:  
“Fight in progress at shortys, requesting immediate backup!”

Nicole could hear shouting and glass shattering in the background. She grabbed her keys and motioned for the two other officers left in the station to follow her. They pulled up, flashing lights and sirens blaring. They walked in to find the bar floor littered with broken bottles. Wynonna was on top of the pool table, cue in one hand, shot glass in the other. The bar was now desolate save for the three guys on the floor unconscious beneath her, including the officer who made the call. 

Wynonna downed the shot and chucked the emptied glass on the hardwood floor. Only then did she notice Nicole and the two officers, guns drawn staring at her.

“Well, look at what the cat dragged in! Did you come to have a little fun with us, Red? You here for Waverly?” Wynonna questioned, slurring her words as she hopped down from the pool table.

“No, I’m here because SOMEONE apparently started a knockdown drag out and dropped one of my only reliable officers!” Nicole grunted and motioned for her deputies to put their guns away. Nicole took a few steps towards her, hands out as to not agitate the highly intoxicated Earp. Wynonna made a show of looking around trying to find the bastard that would do such a thing, damn near falling over in the process.

“Damnit Wynonna! Hand over peacemaker and turn around with your hands above your head.” Wynonna opened her mouth to speak, no doubt to curse Nicole out, when suddenly she got real light headed, tried to take a step forward and fell, Nicole struggled to catch her. Lucky for them both She was out cold.

********

Wynonna woke up on the floor of a cell rubbing her neck. The lights overhead were too bright it made her want to vomit. ”Concrete isn't as comfortable as you remember, is it?" a voice scolded from behind her. The heir turned to see Nicole, standing with her hands on her hips and her jaw clenched tight.

“This is the third time this week I’ve had to lock you up. The third time this week you and Doc have jammed up the station by having to babysit you.” Wynonna interrupted before Nicole had the chance to finish.

“I thought you liked spending quality time with me, Nic! Besides, Champ has been through here so many times he’s got enough frequent-flyer miles to book a ticket to Nigeria and you haven’t done anything to him!” This only proceeded to upset her more, Nicole clenched her fists.

“Champ isn’t the owner of a bunt line special, cursed with killing demons. I get that you have a job to do, but so do we. When you go off playing cop, the real cops are getting burried under mountains of paperwork and all you can do is be drunk and make it harder on all of us.” She was obviously frustrated, angry even. She sighed, dropping her hands to her sides “Just...don’t do it again, please Wynonna.” 

Nicole was tired, mostly thanks to the stress that came with her new title, but also tired of her girlfriends unruly sister. Wynonna has somewhat of a God complex, and Nicole doesn’t like it very much.

Nicole opened the door to Wynonna's cell and drug her out. Waverly was walking in the station and saw Wynonna being somewhat forcefully led towards Nicole's office. Curious as to why, she stopped Nicole, taking note of how tense the redhead seemed. “Why are you hauling my sister off to your office this time?” She asked, tone laced with concern.

“She started a bar fight, assaulted three people, including one of my officers and she trashed shortys again!” Nicole yelled as she gripped Wynonna's arm tighter and tighter with every word.

“Hey carrot top, lighten up a bit will ya?? You’re hurtin’ me!” Wynonna struggled to shake Nicole’s grip, prompting the Sheriff's grasp to tighten enough that Wynonna could see her knuckles turn white. Wynonna knew then, that she was in for it. Nicole's eyebrows shot up and her stance widened.

“Lighten up...lighten up? You want me to lighten up after everything that’s been going on?" Waverly took a step towards Nicole, fearing the look in her eyes she fought the urge to placed a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her.

"Between me having to juggle being sheriff, babysitting your pathetic, juvenile ass and trying to hold this town together after all the hell you’ve been raising, and you’re telling me to lighten up??”

Waverly could see Nicole’s shoulders begin to square. Anger radiating off of her, to anyone else it wouldn’t seem like much, but Nicole never lost her temper. Ever.

“You constantly fight me on everything! You cause trouble everywhere you go and break everything you touch. You’re reckless and arrogant, you have no sense of self respect and I’m quite frankly tired of having to look the other way while you play hero."

"This town would be better off without you in it!" Nicole growled. Waverly flinched as she watched Nicole slam her fists down on the desk next to Wynonna. She drew a breath and got in Wynonna’s face bringing herself eye level with the heir. Wynonna saw something different in them. Something cold and precise. Something more than anger. It was unbridled wrath. A look she knew all too well.  
"And I don’t blame everyone for hating you!”  
Nicole shouted as she threw the keys to Wynonna’s cuffs on the floor and shoved both Waverly and her sister out of the way. She ripped her badge off and threw it at Wynonna. “Since you think you deserve it, it’s yours,” she huffed .Waverly called after Nicole but she was already out the door.

Wynonna had fallen to the ground when Nicole shoved her, and Waverly was struggling to get her hungover sister to stand up. She found the keys to her handcuffs, they had slid under a file cabinet nearby.Wynonna stared at Nicole's badge between her feet, watching silently as Waverly picked it up. Waverly held the badge close to herself, thinking back to the ceremony when Nicole first got it. Nedley pining it to her uniform. She pulled herself from her thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to say what was on her mind. So she pocketed it.

“She wasn’t exactly wrong about me you know?” Wynonna sounded deflated as she rubbing her wrists when Waverly uncuffed her. She left out the part where I was deemed mentally insane, but other than that she hit the nail on the head, yeah?” Wynonna leaned against the doorway to Nicole’s office. She was used to people making fun of her. Used to people calling her every obscenity in the book. The same words coming from Nicole’s mouth however, had pierced her heart.

Waverly took her sisters face in her hands “Hey! You are the only reason this town isn’t a crater in the Earth. You have done more good around here than anyone else I know despite having every reason not to. I don’t know what Nicole’s problem is, but I do know that this town is better because of you, come on let’s get you home.”


	2. Not Now

Nicole was almost to the edge of town when it began to sink in what she had just done. She knew she messed up, but she was too angry to care. She was becoming well aware of the itchy fabric clinging to her body and the beads of sweat gathering on her forehead. She felt trapped, irritated, on edge. It was the middle of winter and she was burning up. There was too much on Nicole’s mind, too much for her to process, too much all at once. Her breathing grew ragged, her shirt collar suddenly becoming too tight. Nicole pulled over, and threw her seatbelt off, the buttons on her vest felt like they were fastening themselves into her skin as she clawed at them, trying to free herself. She was having a panic attack 

She tried to focus on anything but what was happening to her. The light snowfall, the hum of her engine, eventually she started to breathe normally. Her heart began to calm down, but she couldn’t do anything to stop the shame and helplessness that overwhelmed her every time. Normally Waverly would be there to ground her, calming her with her presence. Even if Waverly were here this time around, Nicole needed to be left alone. 

She reached for her phone and dialed Dolls’ number. His voicemail recording played like a familiar song Nicole had listened to it so much. Sometimes she left him messages hoping that maybe he was still out there, but knowing otherwise. She saw him die. Nicole and Dolls weren’t necessarily friends per se, but he was the only person she could confide in. He understood that work wasn’t just work, it was a part of you. He understood that Nicole wasn’t okay. Because he wasn’t okay either. 

She tossed her phone back into the seat and put her head in her hands, gripping her hair tightly as hot tears started to stream down her face.She shuddered, feeling her strong facade break apart, piece by piece until she was broken and vulnerable. This was Nicole. Scared and unsure of herself, terrified of becoming all the things people told her she would be. Her heart ached and she wasn’t exactly sure why this time. 

Nicole picked her head up and wiped her face. She stared at the ring on her finger. Waverly had proposed almost two months ago on the porch of the homestead. Nicole had said yes. At the time she meant it. She still does mean it, but not now, it was too soon. After losing Dolls and Alice, having to keep Wynonna and Doc away from each other, she was overwhelmed.

The redhead had a nagging suspicion that Waverly only popped the question out of fear rather than love. The thought haunted her ever since she asked the question. It made her sick. She loved Waverly more than anything but she didn’t want to rush into a lifelong commitment out of fear. There was far too much happening. She felt as though she wanted to peel her skin off. Nicole was simply at the end of her rope and torn. Torn between what her heart wanted, what her mind was screaming at her and what her gut was feeling. 

She fidgeted with the ring on her finger as she contemplated her next move. She pulled it off and tossed it in the cup holders. It was too heavy on her heart to wear right now. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding in. It was off her mind for now. She buckled and put the car in drive, whipping her cruiser around and pulled back on the road. 

*********

The Earp mantle wasn’t an easy one to carry. It’s a heavy burden to bare, and although Wynonna had people in her corner, this burden was hers and hers alone. Peacemaker had at first been unruly and loathsome to wield. Now she feels naked without it. They’ve become one. Sometimes she thinks it’s her only true friend.

Wynonna was sitting at the table, a bottle of whiskey in hand. Waverly sat across from her and reached over to pry the drink from her sisters hands. “I know today has been rough, but you just sobered up.” Waverly was fighting the urge to curl in on herself.

“Besides we need to find Nicole. She isn’t answering my texts or calls, and everyone at the station is getting radio silence.” Waverly said, frantically moving her hands around. Her cheeks were flushed, she was worried and upset. Rightfully so.

“Do you know anywhere she would have gone?” asked Wynonna as she stood from the table. 

“No, not really. She’s always either with one of us or at the station. I mean she used to -” something clicked in Waverly’s brain. She shot up from her chair headed for the door when Wynonna stopped her. 

“She went to visit dolls.”

“Maybe you should let me handle this one. I have some apologizing to do, and if she’s still angry, I'd rather not have to body slam her for ginger-snapping at you in front of me." 

Waverly’s face fell. “I promise to let you know when I find her okay?” Wynonna assured.  
“Okay. Just be careful. I don’t know what happened to her today, but that’s not our Nicole.” the concern on the younger Earp’s face was evident, proven through her words. Wynonna nodded as she headed out the door with her helmet in hand.


	3. Heavy is the heart of one that knows misery

Nicole stopped the car just short of the footpath. She grabbed her bag out of the back and headed up the hill. 

Nicole walked until she found a granite slab with Dolls' name etched into it. She sighed and threw her bag down before plopping onto the grass, leaning against the stone. The sky overhead had began to turn yellow-red. She shivered, remembering that she had left  
her jacket at the station, It was colder than Nicole anticipated, a gentle snowfall blanketing the ground and peppering her hair. She sat there for a while before she pulled a crumpled piece of paper and a round chip from her bag. Nicole carefully opened up the paper, revealing a list of promises. Promises she hadn’t kept. Most of the ink had faded, her eyes darted to what was still legible.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.  
I haven’t

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.  
My past won't leave me alone

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.  
Untrue

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.  
Fear doesn’t change because of sobriety

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.  
Lies

The more she read, the angrier she got. Looking back, it all seemed foolish. No one's insecurities and problems just disappear because they put down the bottle. It’s as if the promises were destined to break themselves. She toyed with the chip, rolling it between her fingers. Dolls had been there when she got her three year sobriety chip. Wynonna had even promised to drink in celebration for her. 

She chucked the chip behind her and lit the paper on fire, watching it burn atop the snow. She pulled out Wynonna's flask from her bag and and unscrewed the cap.

**********

Wynonna found Nicole’s cruiser parked about half a mile from where they had buried Dolls. She felt the hood and the engine was still hot. The eldest Earp hadn’t been here since the funeral. It was too hard. She felt guilty for mourning him, guilty for letting herself get involved with him. It weighed heavy on her heart, but Nicole needed her, Waverly needed her to make sure Nicole was alright. 

She shook her nerves off and began the hike to the clearing. On her way she saw footprints in the snow. Nicole was definitely here. As she approached the clearing she could see the back of Nicole’s head. Auburn hair speckled with snow. She inched her way towards her, and saw something poking out from the snow. It was Nicole’s sobriety chip. She picked it up and brushed the snow off it. She wondered why it was there as she tried to move as quietly as possible. 

She drew closer, noticing that the sheriff was holding her flask dangerously close to her lips. 

“What’s this?”

Nicole jumped and spun around to see Wynonna holding out the chip. She opened her mouth to say something but Wynonna beat her to it.  
“Don't lie to me and say that flask is filled with water--I know it's full of whiskey because I filled it myself at Shorty's last night"

“I didn’t - I don’t drink anymore.” Whispered Nicole. A distant look in her eye, she turned her head away from the heir.

“You were pretty damn close though.” Wynonna responded as she stepped closer to Nicole and reached for the flask hanging loosely in the sheriff's hands.

“What is going on with you, Nic? You’ve not been yourself in months.” Nicole didn’t respond as Wynonna grabbed the flask. She noticed Nicole wasn’t wearing her ring. 

“Nicole?” Silence

She gently grabbed her hand “Haught! Where the hell is your ring?!” 

The redhead finally turned to Wynonna with tears streaming down her face. She swallowed hard, her eyes were now forward.

"I took it off," her voice was so low that Wynonna could barely hear it. She sat down beside Nicole, unsure of what to do. She was never good with her own feelings, let alone anyone else's.

“Why?” 

Nicole just turned her head away in response.

”Nicole, please, just tell me what’s going on with you! Waves is having a cow because you won't answer your phone. No one's heard from or seen you since this morning and now I find you about to throw away three years of sobriety -” 

“Because it’s too much!” Nicole cried and dropped her head into her hands, Wynonna had never seen Nicole look so small.

“It’s too much,” she croaked, trying to hold back the tears brimming around her eyes.

"I constantly feel like I’m running in slow motion while everything else around me is moving at warp speed. I lost the only person I could talk to, i almost died twice. One minute I'm about to lose Waverly and the next she proposes-" Nicole stops herself taking a deep shaky breath and struggles to even glance at the soft blue eyes staring at her. 

“I-I can't marry her.” She stuttered, shaking her head. It seemed as if the words froze in the cold air and simply hung there between the two women.

“Not now anyway,” Nicole added, finally breaking the silence. Wynonna's eyes wandered as if she was scanning the snow to find the right words to say to the sheriff.

“I love Waverly more than life itself, But she deserves better than me. Someone who doesn’t lie to her. Someone who doesn’t fall apart every time they’re behind closed doors. Waverly is too good to me. I have been nothing but dead weight in her life these past few months. I didn't mean to hurt her, or you I- ” 

Wynonna stopped her by wrapping her arms around Nicole. A display of affection that would normally cause one of them to get injured. The redhead was too far gone to care much about it, instead welcoming the warmth and safety of Wynonna's embrace as sobs wracked her body. 

“I’m going to be here as long as you need me to be. You don’t have to say anything. But you have to talk to Waverly about this. I can't just lie to her for you.” she felt Nicole nod her head against the leather of her jacket and held her tighter.

After a few minutes when she gathered herself enough, Nicole sat up. Once she was untangled from the redhead, Wynonna stood and held her hand out for Nicole to hoist her to her feet when her phone began to ring.

********

“Thank God! I was beginning to think I needed to send out a search party!” Waverly yelled through the phone. “Did you find Nicole, is she okay?”

“She's safe Waves. Look, we’ll talk when we get back, this isn’t an over the phone conversation.”

The two made their way down the hill and back to their vehicles. Wynonna made the executive decision that Nicole was in no shape to drive, and took one for the team leaving her bike there till she could come back for it. Nicole handed her the keys to her carto hoist the redhead to her feet when her phone began to ring.Wynonna went to pull the car in drive, and noticed the ring lying in the cup holder. The implications of Nicole taking that ring off, knowing how much Nicole loved her sister, scared her. She just hoped they could work things out. 

If Nicole ever hurt Waverly in any way, Wynonna would put Nicole down before she had the time to say sorry. Nicole knew that. Waverly knew that. “I’m sorry for this morning” Nicole broke the silence. Voice thin and hoarse from breathing in the cold air and crying. “I was out of line and I didn't have any right to say any of those things”

Wynonna searched for the right words to say   
“You meant them either way. I mean, you were mostly right and I forgive you, but maybe next time you don't have to be so loud about my status as the town fuck-up." Nervous laughter filled the cruiser for a few moments for dying out quickly.  
“I’m sorry for making things harder for you. I had no idea you were just as fucked as me” 

“I’m usually better at hiding it.. which I guess isn't something to be proud of now, and no, I was wrong Wyn. You’re the only thing helping hold this place together.Everyone is just too jealous to admit it...even me.”

Nicole looked out the window. Searching for a way to apologize and explain herself to Waverly. The sky didn't have any answers either. Night had fallen on the drive back, and they rode in silence almost the whole way, which the redhead was thankful for. She needed it to think. She was jerked from her thoughts as they pulled into the driveway.Nicole could see Waverly standing on the porch, waiting for them. Fear pooled in the pit of her stomach, effectively driving away all the things Nicole had planned to say.

With or without a plan, it was time for Nicole to face the music.


	4. All’s well that ends well, to end up with you

Wynonna killed the engine in front of the Homestead, immediately pulling Nicole from her thoughts with a jolt. She looked down at the ring she had been mindlessly toying with between her fingers and quickly shoved it inside her pocket before stepping out of the car. The sheriff usually tackled most problems head on--this time, she was dragging her feet, each step feeling heavier than the last . She wanted to run, she wanted to puke...maybe she wanted to do both. Nicole felt like a shell of the person she used to be. The tall woman dug her hands further into her pockets and hunched her shoulders damn near up to her ears in an effort to make herself disappear.

Waverly was less than ten feet away and all Nicole wanted to do was hide. She felt her heart start to crawl into her throat and her stomach drop when she got close enough to see the worry visible on the smaller woman’s face. How could she hurt someone so loving and pure? The one person in her life that always picks her back up when she stumbles, and here she has gone and ruined it. 

Nicole stopped dead in her tracks just short of the steps in front of where Waverly stood towering over her. Wynonna saw her hesitation and walked ahead of her. “Give us just another minute or two.” She whispered to her sister.

Waverly was leaning past her sister to look at Nicole whose head was down, feet kicking softly at the dirt. “Okay, but make it quick” she said turning back to look at her sister. 

As Waverly shut the door Wynonna sat on the steps and motioned for Nicole to do the same. She opted to stand. Fearing that if she sat back down she’d curl in on herself. 

“You have to go in there.” Wynonna gave a gentle, but firm nudge to the apprehensive redhead. Nicole nodded in agreement. 

There was a lump in her throat the size of a tennis ball and it was making a line drive to the pit of her stomach.

Wynonna stood, holding her hand out for Nicole, ”come on.” Nicole clung to her as they made their way up the steps into the Earp home. There she found Waverly sitting at the table, worry lines visible as her face contorted in thought. Nicole realized that she had missed her, a wave of guilt crashed into her when Wynonna placed a hand on Nicole’s shoulder. The redhead took this as her way of asking if she needed Wynonna to stay. Nicole covered the elder Earp's with her own and gave it a squeeze, Wynonna understood. 

“I’ll be upstairs if you need anything,” she left the two alone, Nicole almost immediately regretted her decision.

Waverly was staring at her fiancé like she was a stranger. Nicole felt naked. Her eyes locking with the younger Earps and darting back to the floor as she sat a few feet in front of Waverly. 

Waverly studied Nicole, she looked exhausted to say the least. Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked like she had been crying for most of the day. The Sheriff’s hands were tightly clasped together in her lap. Eyes desperately trying to avoid looking at her as if she would turn to stone if she did. They sat in silence for a while before Waverly pulled something from her pocket and set it on the table in front of Nicole. Her badge staring back at her. Nicole looked at it and pulled her shirt to look where it had been pinned. 

“How’d you-”

“You threw it at Wynonna this morning,” her words stinging Nicole as memories of this morning flooded her mind. 

She leaned her elbows on the table and leaned forward slightly. 

“Can you give me a reason, a _real_ reason as to why?”

“Why what?” Shrugged Nicole 

“Sneaking in and out of bed, going off and not telling anyone where you are, you won’t even look me in the Nicole…” Waverly reaches out to take Nicole’s hand then retreated.

“You don’t want to touch me. You won’t even talk to me about anything other than work anymore. that hurts worse than anything. Why won’t you let me help you?” Waverly said choking back tears. Nicole could feel her heart breaking piece by piece to the tragic sound that filled the space between them.

“I just- I don’t know, I can’t.” Nicole struggled to say what was on her mind. Her eyes on the ceiling instead of Waverly.

“I’m not okay. You know it, I know it. I didn’t want to acknowledge it or to bring it up because we have enough on our plates as it is without my trivial bullshit rearing it's cursed, ugly head." Nicole said as evenly as possible, her voice still shaky from holding back the urge to break down again. She took Waverlys silence as a sign to continue.

“"I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to," Nicole whispered to the floor beneath her, when she meant to scream it from the top of her lungs.

“Where’s your ring?” The question sliced Nicoles heart open and her eyes widened.Her hands retreating to the tops of her knees under the table as she unconsciously leaned back to try and put distance between her and her mistakes. She pulled it from her pocket and placed it on the table before Waverly. 

Waverly's heart almost stopped. 

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you and Wynonna through. You deserve better.” Nicole turned her head away, she couldn’t face Waverly, her eyes were piercing into her. She almost couldn’t finish what she started saying 

“I love you Waverly, more than anything,I've never loved anyone the way that I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I do. One day I want to get married. But I can’t marry you right now. I said yes and I shouldn’t have. I meant it, I still do, but after everything that’s happened I can’t take that right now.” 

There was a moment of silence, the air between them thick with tension 

“I’m not ready, please don’t hate me.”

Waverly saw how sincere and broken she was, the redhead avoiding her gaze, she grabbed Nicole’s chin and tilted it up, the younger Earp could feel Nicole’s pain through her fingertips

“Hey, it's okay. I’m right here. I still love you and that’s not going to change just because you don’t want to marry me. You said yes to me and I know you meant it, that’s enough for me. I don’t need that in writing to know that you are the one.”

Nicole’s face was burning and her heart felt as if it would burst out of her chest “I’m sorry” she whimpered, looking up at Waverly. 

************

Wynonna waited a while before descending down the stairs Nicole’s chip in hand. She found them curled into one another on the couch, she walked up behind them. “You two figure things out?” She chuckled.

“We’ll be okay,” responded her sister. 

The heir looked at Nicole and back to Waverly, then down to the chip in her hand. Nicole knew immediately what it was. Wynonna handed Waverly the chip. The younger Earp looked at her sister and then to Nicole in confusion 

“This is your sobriety medallion, I don’t understand. Why does Wynonna have it?” Asked Waverly sitting up. 

“I uh--I almost drank today. ” admitted Nicole, “but I’m okay though. Wynonna stopped me and I’m going to get help.” She defended 

Waverly didn’t say anything. She just leaned over to where her girlfriend sat and wrapped her arms tightly around her. “We’re going to get through this. I’m going to be here every step of the way. But you have to promise me, no more shoving your feelings aside.” Nicole nodded. 

“Thank you for not giving up on me. I would have.”

“No Haught, you wouldn’t have. I’m proof. You’re always taking care of us. It’s about time we take care of you.” Wynonna said as she sat down next to them. 

It would be a while before things went back to normal. Nicole had gone back to therapy, Wynonna cut the sheriff some slack and caused less trouble for her. Waverly was still Waverly, being that glue that holds Wynonna and Nicole, her family, together. As time went on, the redhead fell back into the routine of sleeping in her bed arms confidently and protectively draped over her girlfriend. The nightmares had stopped. Her panic attacks few and far between. Things were looking up for the new sheriff and she was happier now than she had ever been.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don’t hesitate to drop a comment and let me know what you’d like too see or just constructive criticism. Be kind and respectful.  
Huge thanks to my beta reader and friend jessandl. Couldn’t have done any of this without her. So go check out her stuff on here if you liked this.


End file.
